Book Excerpt

I have a new book excerpt for the Divorce Party over at: http://everexpandinglibrary.blogspot.com/ . Go check it out and let me know what you think!

(I am working on separating this blog to put my book content over to the other blog, as listed above. It is a slow process, so I'll continue to put partial book posts here until they other site is fully functional. Thanks for your understanding.)

Word Verfication Balderdash

Here's a new word game, in the form of a weekly meme, thought up by Sheila at: http://bookjourney.wordpress.com/





The gist is this: you take all those crazy verifications codes you come across while commenting on blogs and give them authentic sounding definitions. Sounds easy right? We'll see.

So far here's what I've come up with:

Uphoust - The act of dusting the upper floor of a house.

Buleg - The term for people that have no definition between the end of their butt and the beginning of their leg.

That's all I have for now but I'm sure there'll be more next week. It's a weekly meme so save up them up and share your post on Thursdays.

(Side note: When I did my spell check before posting, it questioned my use of the above two words, who'd of figured?

Lamb : Top Ten reasons to read this book:

My friend and I have been reading the same book (call it our 2 person book club, if you will) and are offering our reviews here on Blogger. But rather than be duplicitous, I have decided to borrow a page from David Letterman and tell you the Top Ten reasons why I think anyone should read Lamb by Christopher Moore. Here goes:

10- Canadians in general, but more specifically Toronto Maple Leaf fans, get an honourable mention in this hilarious book (though you do have to purchase a version of it containing the "Afterword II", like the Special Gift Edition, that I read):
9- You will find the answer to what the "H" stands for, as in Jesus H. Christ (haven't you always wanted to know?).

8-The age old question of "What if Jesus had known kung fu?" that the author felt needed to be answered, gets answered. I'm sure at one point or another, we've all asked the same thing.

7-You will discover whether or not it's actually possible to teach an elephant yoga and where the phrase "In case of emergency, break glass" probably came from.

6- Learn how the double-double coffee came to be (granted, date sugar and goat's milk are the chosen mediums, but you gotta start somewhere, right?). Again, us Canadians, and our affinity for Tim Horton's coffee, will find much relevance to where it all began.

5- See history in the making as other firsts come about - matches, the charcoal pencil, sarcasm, dumb blond jokes (most likely not historically accurate but they are fun).

4- It will make you (re)read the Bible in order to verify the facts of the story and separate them from the fantastical elements manufactured by the author (and there are lots of these) - Upon completing the book, I got to page 2 of the Old Testament - I know, it's a work in progress

3- Come away from the book with a better understanding of the Aramaic language by learning the translations for wuss and doofus, as they were used in ancient times (though why they didn't appear in the footnotes of my Bible, I'm not entirely sure).

2- The truth (or alternate, alternate truth) about Mary Magdalene is revealed. And it's a truth that women world wide have known for an eternity: women are most definitely smarter than men.

1-You'll want to add Biff to your phone-a-friend list in case you make it on to Who Wants to be a Millionaire, cause he knows stuff no other person on earth knows (Okay, so maybe it's manufactured, but he's so convincing in the telling that even Jesus believed him). Actually, you'd just want to count him as a friend; he's the kinda guy you'd want to have around in the direst of times to add levity to any situation.

1- You will laugh till you cry (or pee your pants) then want to do it all over again!

What, can't I have 2 number ones? Yes, I thought the book was that good and will be re-reading it at some point in the very near future (maybe when I get to page 50 of the Old Testament- which will probably turn out to be sometime next year, at the rate I'm going).

So, I tip my hat to Mr. Moore for keeping me thoroughly entertained from beginning to end and I say to my (small) audience, if you haven't read this book, go do it now!

For more information, check out the author's website:
http://chrismoore.com/

BBAW's

From the pages of my fellow noob to the blogging world ( http://hefollowedmehome.blogspot.com/ ), I have found the BBAW's. So here are my responses to the required questions to be added to the list:

1-What has been one of the highlights of blogging for you?

I'm not much for putting my thoughts on paper or any other method, not that I haven't wanted to but just couldn't ever really find the right words to do it. After some blogging research, I just decided to throw away my inhibitions and do it!

2-What blogger has helped you out with your blog by answering questions, linking to you or inspiring you

That would have to be my book soul mate, bff, proof reader, linker and one and only follower (at the moment, though hopefully more will join in soon) also known as http://hefollowedmehome.blogspot.com/

3-What one question do you have about BBAW that someone who participated last year could answer?

Seriously, which is the BEST blog I should be reading about reading?

So there you have it, the best answers I can think of at the moment. Check out the link above to see what it's all about.

I've learned a thing or two

Life lessons are always coming at me and I thought it only fair to share any recently acquired knowledge here:

1-Though I pile my books so high beside my bed, with the intent of reading them soon, only to trip over them several times per day, their proximity to my bed while I sleep does not allow for the process of osmosis to work, much to my chagrin. So I buy a bookcase to store the books and reorder them on a "to read" priority. (The bookcase has been placed on the other side of the bed where I walk less often therefore I'm less likely to bang my knee, stub my toe, what have you and so far so good... but it's only been 3 days... and yes I am slightly anal-retentive, organizing my books by height within the shelves and by genre though not yet by alphabetical order by author, which will have to wait for another, more free, time.)

2-Regardless of how long you leave a bunch of grapes in the fridge they will not automatically ferment and become a wonderful bottle of white or red wine. Apparently there are other ingredients involved in the process of wine making, or perhaps some foot stomping (do people still do that?) that I am ignorant of, and will continue to remain so, while I am able, and most definitely willing, to purchase the prepackaged products from my local liquor store. The grapes do, however, become a gelatinous, gooey mess covered in mold if left for too long unattended.

3-Middle age spread is inevitable, especially when you are sitting on your backside at work, in front of a computer, all day then go home and sit with a book/in front of the TV/on the computer yet again, and the in between times are spent sitting in you car driving from home to work then back again. I haven't yet figured out if it's reversible but I'm working on it.

These are the sad facts I have become increasingly familiar with. It just goes to show how much more in life there is to learn.

Year of the Cock, a book review

I mentioned before that I had received this book from a giveaway at the librarything.com website. The truth is, I forgot I'd put my name in for this particular draw. When I received the parcel pick up notification, I thought it was something else I was waiting for. So, off I went to get my package only to see "Year of Cock" written on the box (an ever so slight alteration of the actual title). I was blushing furiously as I signed my name, saying to the girl at the counter, "I have no idea what this is." I truly thought it was some practical joke someone was playing on me, sending me an adult film.

When I got home, slyly covering the package so my 7 year old couldn't see it and start with the barrage of questions that would most definitely ensue with this new vocabulary, I ran right into my bedroom to see what it could be (possible adult content aside, I was curious). I found the book and packing slip showing that it had indeed been sent by a publishing company and felt some relief. I got the full picture the next day after I logged into the website and saw my winner's notification. Mystery solved.

I have dutifully read the book as promised on entering the draw. Here follows my review:

First, let me start by saying that this is not a book I would have bought had I seen it in the store. It has a definite male point of view, which in and of itself would not prevent me from buying a book at all but the premise isn't necessarily my thing. I'm a single woman and don't feel (at the moment) the need to delve into the male mind. But none of this prevented me from actually reading the book and I was surprised at how quickly and easily I finished it.

It was interesting to see how the author suffers through a meltdown. Though I do not have the appendage that, ultimately, became the obsession/manifestation of his breakdown, I could relate to the issues of self-doubt, self-esteem, etc. as many other people can, too.

He writes with humour and honesty about his own life, which I would imagine is hard to do, especially for a man, with regards to such a sensitive subject. There were times where I would have liked to put my hands through the pages to wring his neck and tell him, "Call your wife!" But, he learns his lessons in the end (hopefully).

I would recommend this book to any man that believes psychiatry or any other form of help is only for the weak. I think it would give courage to others to speak about their problems and not continue to suffer in silence. Overall, a decent job by the author on his first book, especially considering the highly personal nature of his writing.

The Voice in my Head

My friend and I were talking the other day about our reading lists and the possibility of us churning out more books, faster than our current pace. We got on the subject of speed reading and how to go about it. She found a site that recommends not sounding out the words in your head to make things go quicker. Her response to this was, "I like the voice in my head." I hadn't really thought about it before but I had to agree. Of course, at the time, I was reading a book translated from Spanish, so my inner voice had an accent.

Cool, right or is it just weird?

So, on my next book, I paid a little more attention to how I was reading with said voice. The next book happened to be The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

The author recounts the story in such a matter of fact way that, indeed, my inner voice became somewhat dry and monotone (the Spanish accent was gone). The characters telling their sides of the story with almost clinical detachment to a heart-wrenching scenario. It talks about time travel as a genetic defect as opposed to something otherworldly, as we are so accustomed to in Sci-Fi books. This is a natural, everyday occurrence for these characters. It is told with such conviction, though, that I start to think, maybe, some future disease could result in our bodies losing their ability to stay in the present time, that cellular malfunction would cause us to dematerialize here and reappear somewhere else in the Time-Space continuum. Or, maybe not. Whatever the case, the book made me cry like a baby, sap that I am.

But, I digress.

Since then I've been reading consecutive books featuring primarily Jewish characters with a little French and Russian thrown in to mix it up. This time the inner voice is struggling a bit, 'cause I'm not so good with Jewish inflections. Words like mitzvah and shekel just don't come out quite right, even in my head. The same can also be said when I sing Bob Marley as I do my house work or rap along with The Roots, Eminem, T.I., etc. I am through and through British Isles Caucasian and it shows, try hard as I might to appear cooler, more worldly than I am. At least I only do this when I am alone, so no witnesses to the atrocities.

I don't know that I'll ever be able to successfully speed read, after all. My imagination is far too vivid, thus the strange and ever changing voices will stay with me along with my mental pictures of settings, weather, whatever circumstance necessary for me to bring a book to life without having to rely on movies to get the job done (though I do that too).

Just don't tell anyone that I'm hearing voices, okay?

My review of "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

"Forever," he said.

That's how long it felt that I'd been reading this book!

I purchased the book about a year ago on Oprah's recommendation (I don't actually watch Oprah, but her book club is renowned) and attempted to read it then. I only got to page three and decided it would be best to put it aside and try again at some other time. So, the book sat on my end table for the last year. That is until I caught part of the movie and was intrigued.

My interest in this book was actually piqued long before Oprah, when I had seen it featured in the movie Serendipity, where John Cusack runs around New York for years searching every copy of the book he can find for a woman's phone number. I had originally thought the book title was a joke, only made for the movie (yes, I've probably spent the better part of the last thirty plus years under a rock - I mean, really, who would put love and cholera in the same thought?). When I realized it was an actual book, I put it on my mental to do list (anything featured in a John Cusack movie where the dialogues are almost always quirky and the soundtracks are awesome, should be all right with me).

Now, having finished it (finally), I understand the comparison. If one is suffering from a broken heart or unrequited love, there is a general sense of unwell at times that mimics the symptoms of cholera and where coma or death may be preferable to the loss of a great love (at least it seems that way at the time, but in reality it's not truly that bad - most of the time). We should be able to pick up the pieces and move on, right? Well, this poor man hangs on to his hopes for over five decades! I just wanted to take this fictional man and give him a good shake and tell him to get over it already; move on!

The book drags through descriptions of floral and fauna that I'm unfamiliar with, also, which made it difficult for me to get through as I typically rely on my very vivid imagination to bring life to the books I read. This made for slow going where I would have preferred the three week long ride on the back of a mule with sores from sitting on said mule rather than reading another page. But I plod on in any event, determined not to quit.

It also seems to jump from present to past to future so quickly that I found myself rereading passages in order to figure out where in time I actually was and still not really able to get it straight (though, some days, this happens in my own life, so it may just be a genetic defect). The flow from one character point of view to another, though, was done smoothly and left little confusion.

The upside of the book was that love is possible at any age, although, perhaps better left to the septuagenarians that have lived long enough to experience and appreciate the complexities of life and love, in all its forms.

In the end, I'm not left wishing for more as (in my humble opinion) good books often make me feel. I was glad to see it come to an end and not left wondering what would happen to the characters next. Then again, if I'd had access to the picture book version, I may have been left with warmer, fuzzier feelings. And, I wouldn't necessarily recommend not reading it, just be prepared with your copy of the comprehensive guide to the wilderness and lifestyle of late nineteenth/early twentieth century Caribbean living, complete with pictures, or any such similar reference. For me, I'm off the watch the movie from beginning to end in order to achieve the visual component I was lacking but am able to see through someone else's (and more superior to mine, obviously) vision.

Lament of the laptop

As I write in my little blog box, I feel the prose flowing through my fingertips onto the keyboard. I feel a rush of creative energy, like nothing I have experienced before. It is so forceful that I keep typing and forget to hit the save button (of course), thinking that even a momentary pause will cause a massive dam to build up and block these free flowing thoughts forever.

I imagine no one on Earth has ever had these revelations; this new thinking is so brilliant, so unique, I must share it with the world immediately. And, so, I type on, in this manner, for an indeterminate amount of time, amazed that someone such as myself, was capable of this quality of thought and verbiage.

And then the unimaginable (well, I might have imagined it, if I'd stopped my discourse for the fraction of a second needed to store my ruminations for eternity) happens. You, my laptop, have heated to the point where you felt you must turn yourself off....without checking with me first! So, lost are my thoughts into the abyss of the Blue Nowhere (thank you, Jeffery Deaver) or in the gray cells that exploded during my mind blowing cognition.

My laptop, oh, laptop. You, that I'd loved so much when you were new, now you have a raging fever in your underbelly such that I cannot lay you on a table top for fear that you bubble any man made surfaces! What has happened to you?

A lesson has been learned here today. Now I must cradle you gently, as I lay contorted with my knees raised, my body forming a V shape to protect the area where your fan circulates from reaching its fiery maximum (the "save" lesson has still not been learned and probably never will). I will protect you, my laptop, until the last payment is made, with loving deference.

What's in a font?

I am a newbie to blogging and much like the premise for Seinfeld, I have no specific topics in mind. This will be my platform for whatever I'm thinking about at the moment. So, here goes my first attempt:

I always struggle with titles, user names, etc., when I have to create a new profile. I want to pick something unique that people will get a kick out of or make people question (I find myself frequently off on tangents, trying to find out more about what people are talking about). My initials and birth date are no longer acceptable (I looked up a Gaelic-English dictionary for my fave new user name). But then it comes time to pick the font...

I like to try different fonts but always fall back on Arial, especially for work-related documents. I figured I wasn't conforming to my computers incessant recommendation to use Times New Roman. So, there! Then I read Patricia Cornwell's "Scarpetta" http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Scarpetta-Patricia-Cornwell/9780399155161-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+%2527scarpetta%2527and was dismayed to learn that Arial was considered (maybe by the author or maybe this was only the incredibly smart, beautiful techno geek extrordinare character's assessment) to be a thief, a fraud! An update of the more classic style Helvetica.

My font is a fake? What does that say about me? Or am I reading to much into this?

Off I go to research what fonts are cool but legible. (Is there such a thing as a cutting edge font, I wonder?). So, in setting up my blog here, I reach the part where I have to chose the font again. Well, Times is out, Arial's out, what do I pick? I try them all out and chose Verdana, only to come upon this during research http://www.readersdigest.ca/money/cms/xcms/what-your-font-says-about-you_1534_a.html . Verdana is dull? Oh boy.

So I delve in further, looking for some positive feedback on my choices while playing with Open Office to check out the aesthetics (a cool name is fine but what does it look like?) . I find this http://tech.yahoo.com/blog/raskin/17798. It puts a slightly better spin on things.

The Readers' Digest link mentions Gigi, "the sex kitten" of fonts and Impact, the "rigid, rude, sad" font. No font by its description alone seems to fit my personality and I've yet to find the Facebook quiz to aid with this. I finally decide on Trebuchet, not finding any derogatory remarks about this one, though, to be honest, I stopped persuing it.

The written word is such a large part of our world now, with the myriad of online social sites as well as our business websites, and while we can easily add pictures to profiles, it is harder show our individual personalities without additional help (emoticons aside). I think that is why our choice of font can be such a big thing and why, to quote the Yahoo link, "people are so passionate about their typeface."

I will continue my search to find the best fit for me (though, my friends would probably say Webdings would fit that category) while practicing the line "My name is..." during office hours ;-)

Any thoughts? Let me know.